Sometimes, you just have to say, "no". You may not want to say it. You may not even be sure it's totally necessary, but it's easier to change a "no" to a "yes" than the other way around, so when in doubt, I usually go with "no". I've tried "maybe" and 'I'll look into it and get back to you", but if you turn these into a hard "no", often the person who asked for the favor sees it as you changing your mind. Many people take an "I'll think about it", as a yes waiting to happen rather than the more probable polite "no" you're trying to get across.
And trying to be polite all the time is part of the problem. We somehow feel like we need a reason or excuse to say no to the request for a favor. "I don't want to" or "It's not convenient" should be enough. I had one, we'll call him a friend for these purposes, who used to call out of the blue, last minute and ask, "What are you doing?", if I answered that I wasn't doing much, he'd follow up with "Great, then you can help me with x, y, z." You see why friend may not be the right word? It was rarely a call to see if I'd like to go hang out somewhere or contacting me with a paid opportunity. It was always this sneaky way of first checking if I was doing something he deemed important, worthy as an excuse for not helping, and then the request for said help.
As independent filmmakers, you know that you sometimes need favors to get your movie done. When possible, you should be willing to reciprocate these favors. Sometimes you may even want to do favors just because you're a nice person and helping others is a good thing to do. That said, "I'm in my pajamas and I have been planning to spend today in my pajamas playing with my dog and writing scripts for weeks now" should be enough reason to turn down a favor on a given day.
The other favors are for freebies. These also should be at your total discretion. Reasons are your own and real friends don't actually need them. Non-friends definitely don't need a reason, but I find myself giving them often anyway.
Recently I had someone contact me about using one of my movies as part of a show. The thing is, this show wouldn't be showing a clip, it would be showing my entire movie. In the past, when I sold DVDs, these types of things were sometimes helpful for spreading the word, so I would take them up on it as a win-win. Now, however, anything that shows my entire movie and doesn't pay me is just taking away potential views from our legitimate channels. Clips, reviews, interviews and the like are all good, but asking my permission to show my movie, in its entirety online is just competing with myself. Often these shows are presented as a one time live thing, and that COULD be helpful if people miss it, but later you hear they're broadcasting it again...and again...and again...and so on. I have had to close down my own less-profitable streams in favor of the ones that pay better. If I want to continue making more movies, I need to do what's best for the titles I manage now. Do I begrudge them the asking? No. If you don't ask, you don't know what the answer may be, but, I do hope that the "I can't help" is enough of an answer.
Even though I know the reasons I say no sometimes, I still feel a little guilty. I was raised to "share" and be generous and be helpful, but I can't go into all of my friends businesses and ask for their services for free. You'll often find the use of an office space for free isn't too tough. A store will let film on the property for nothing, but the services that office offers or the items that store sells will cost you just like anyone else. To me, this makes perfect sense.
So, ask for your favors, offer the ones you can and give yourself permission to say "no" every so often, for whatever reason. Save feeling guilty for times you actually do something wrong.
And trying to be polite all the time is part of the problem. We somehow feel like we need a reason or excuse to say no to the request for a favor. "I don't want to" or "It's not convenient" should be enough. I had one, we'll call him a friend for these purposes, who used to call out of the blue, last minute and ask, "What are you doing?", if I answered that I wasn't doing much, he'd follow up with "Great, then you can help me with x, y, z." You see why friend may not be the right word? It was rarely a call to see if I'd like to go hang out somewhere or contacting me with a paid opportunity. It was always this sneaky way of first checking if I was doing something he deemed important, worthy as an excuse for not helping, and then the request for said help.
As independent filmmakers, you know that you sometimes need favors to get your movie done. When possible, you should be willing to reciprocate these favors. Sometimes you may even want to do favors just because you're a nice person and helping others is a good thing to do. That said, "I'm in my pajamas and I have been planning to spend today in my pajamas playing with my dog and writing scripts for weeks now" should be enough reason to turn down a favor on a given day.
The other favors are for freebies. These also should be at your total discretion. Reasons are your own and real friends don't actually need them. Non-friends definitely don't need a reason, but I find myself giving them often anyway.
Recently I had someone contact me about using one of my movies as part of a show. The thing is, this show wouldn't be showing a clip, it would be showing my entire movie. In the past, when I sold DVDs, these types of things were sometimes helpful for spreading the word, so I would take them up on it as a win-win. Now, however, anything that shows my entire movie and doesn't pay me is just taking away potential views from our legitimate channels. Clips, reviews, interviews and the like are all good, but asking my permission to show my movie, in its entirety online is just competing with myself. Often these shows are presented as a one time live thing, and that COULD be helpful if people miss it, but later you hear they're broadcasting it again...and again...and again...and so on. I have had to close down my own less-profitable streams in favor of the ones that pay better. If I want to continue making more movies, I need to do what's best for the titles I manage now. Do I begrudge them the asking? No. If you don't ask, you don't know what the answer may be, but, I do hope that the "I can't help" is enough of an answer.
Even though I know the reasons I say no sometimes, I still feel a little guilty. I was raised to "share" and be generous and be helpful, but I can't go into all of my friends businesses and ask for their services for free. You'll often find the use of an office space for free isn't too tough. A store will let film on the property for nothing, but the services that office offers or the items that store sells will cost you just like anyone else. To me, this makes perfect sense.
So, ask for your favors, offer the ones you can and give yourself permission to say "no" every so often, for whatever reason. Save feeling guilty for times you actually do something wrong.
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